The Thought of Living Without You
by ilovesg1andNASA
Summary: My version on what should have happened in Entity. What happens if Jack tries to kill himself after shooting Sam for the second time with the zat? What happens when Sam gets back into her body and finds out about Jack?
1. Returning to the darkness

Title: The Thought of Living Without You

Category: Angst/Romance

Season: 4

Summary: My version on what should have happened in Entity. What happens if Jack tries to kill himself after shooting Sam for the second time with the zat? What happens when Sam gets back into her body and finds out about Jack?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show in any way. If I did, this would have happened in the Entity episode instead of being a story being posted on a FANFIC site!

Author's Note: I got this idea when thinking about the episode. my 1st fanfic so criticize and tear apart every little thing to help me write better! o0o0, and if some one would please explain to me what a beta is!?!?! I just started this account and am really confused about that still!!!

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Everything seemed to freeze as soon as he hit the shot the zat gun twice and Carter fell toward the ground.

Everyone seemed to freeze as we saw her fall to the ground dead. Jack was in shock. This was the second time his gun killed someone he loved and he couldn't take it anymore. The thoughts of living without Carter, without seeing her smile everyday, no one to confuse him with all that technobabble and using him as a sounding board for some advanced problem with the 'gate, sent him back to that dark place in his mind after Charlie died.

And so he did the only thing he could do after shooting Carter and seeing her lie on the ground motionless. He took the zat gun he held and quickly pulled the trigger twice, causing him to join Carter's company on the cold, concrete floor.


	2. Waking up

Disclaimer: I don't own the show in any way. If I did, this would have happened in the Entity episode instead of being a story being posted on a FANFIC site!

Author's Note: can some one would please explain to me what a beta is!?!?! I just started this account and am really confused about that still!!! The first person to help explain to me what a beta is will get a giant virtual brownie (which is always better than a cookie!) that doesn't exist!!

Previously:

_And so he did the only thing he could do after shooting Carter and seeing her lie on the ground motionless. He took the zat gun he held and quickly pulled the trigger twice, causing him to join Carter's company on the cold, concrete floor._

**Chapter 2:**

As soon as Jack fell to the floor, Fraiser appeared, rushing to both Sam and Jack.

"They're both alive." she stated after checking for some kind of pulse from both of them.

_Damn it! _thought Daniel. _Why would you do that to yourself Jack? It wasn't your fault. Sam would have wanted you to continue living, not kill yourself. Damn military. It was the only thing keeping you two apart, wasn't it? You loved each other but were too stubborn to do anything about it and now its too late. _

They were then rushed to the infirmary where both were hooked up to as many tubes and wires that were in Carter's lab. Only SG-1 was in the room, Daniel and Teal'c just being there even though there wasn't anything they could do. Janet then walked in holding a clipboard.

"Still no change. There's no brain activity of any kind, no brain wave from either Sam or the entity. She's being kept alive entirely on life support. I think it's time to let her go Sir."

"What about Jack?" asked Daniel.

"Physically he's stable. He's in there somewhere. I don't know how but I'm guessing that because the two shots from the zat were fired so quickly in succession that the EMP from both shots somehow mixed and cancelled each other out to some extent like two sound waves that are emitted just right causing the crests of the waves to mix at a certain point causing no sound to be heard. I think this caused the shots to be slightly more than just a normal shot but still below a fatal level. Right now, he seems to be just unconscious. I believe that the effects will be the same as a single shot from a zat, just a little stronger so he will just take a while longer to regain conciousness. But he got very lucky. Other than that, I don't know."

Hammond then walked into the room looking very tired and distressed at the whole ordeal.

"I'm ordering the mainframe in the MALP room destroyed in case the entity managed to find it's way back in there."

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Control Room

"Sir we're go for a systems restart."

"Proceed Sergeant." replied Hammond in a detached voice, hoping no one could hear his grief of losing one of his best officers and a good friend.

"Yes Sir." In the MALP room, Siler and a couple of other people are putting claymores everywhere.

"All operational systems are back online" Davis stated. The air filled with tension as everyone was still trying to process that Sam was gone and that this would be the end of the whole thing.

The computer in the MALP room then suddenly starts.

"Get back!" Siler shouts

Hammond comes over the PA system. "SG1 to the MALP room immediately."

"I think our friend is back." replied Siler to the remaining half of SG1

"Would it not be wise to destroy it immediately." responded Teal'c. Suddenly the words "I am here appear on the computer screen"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look at this." said Daniel

"The entity." stated Teal'c

"No it said it couldn't go back. It's Sam." responded Daniel.

"But was she not shot twice with the zat'ni'katel by O'Neill?" Teal'c said.

"After it transferred Sam's consciousness out of her body. Jack killed the entity after it put Sam into this, this thing. She's in here." Daniel said with hope that his friend was alive.

"Why? Why would it do that?" responded Siler

"Jack demanded it. He threatened to send an army of probes through to its homeworld. Saving Sam and allowing itself to be killed was the only way to preserve its homeworld." Daniel quickly explained. "Someone get Janet NOW." Soon, Janet and Sam are moved into the MALP room.

"This EEG matches Sam's. I don't know how but it's her." Janet said surprised.

"So what do we do?" asked Hammond.

"There's nothing I can do Sir but to provide a conduit for her to return into her own body." replied Janet. Teal'c then raises his zat gun.

"The entity has deceived us on several occasions." Teal'c explained.

" Go ahead Doctor." Hammond ordered.

"Yes Sir." She then flicks a switch causing Sam to jerk with the electric current. She then takes a breath in her own body.

"She's back." Janet stated, shocked. Teal'c then lowers the zat.

"Sam, you okay?" Daniel asked concerned for what her friend must have been through.

"It's gone?"

"Yes it is." answered Hammond.

"I was shouting for you to hear."

"We heard." replied Janet.

"Where's the Colonel?" she asked, noticing that her close friend was missing. She was met by a room full of sad eyes, knowing what she was going to hear next wasn't going to be good.

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TBC

A/N: I took a lot of this right from the episode, including a lot of the dialogue word for word. I just kinda tweaked it so it would make sense in my little happy place in my head because I didn't think it would make sense for an uncouncious Jack to be up walking around and talking to people after his suicide attempt. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I don't care what you say, even if you say if my story is crap so far, just as long as you tell me why so I can write better since this is my 1st fanfic.


	3. Contemplation

Disclaimer: I don't own the show in any way. If I did, this would have happened in the Entity episode instead of being a story being posted on a FANFIC site so don't sue me! You wouldn't get much anyway especially since I'm in high school and don't have a job yet, even though I would like one and that i'm going to college next year! CDs and college are expensive!!!

Author's Note: ok, ill try to make the chapters longer and update regularly but I can only blame my evil teachers and junior year in high school! I think that the Ori came up with the idea of making us write essays in school to make us go crazy! thanks everyone for explaining what a beta is! now I realize that this isn't beta'd but if anyone out there is willing to be a beta, reply!!!!!!!!!

Takes place sometime between season 4 and 7 (or whenever Fraiser dies and Jack is a general, just because I think that's the "Golden Age" of Stargate)

Disclaimer: Don't believe any of the science I wrote in this story is fact. I tried to base what I could off of stuff I know is true like the two different sounds that can cancel each other out to make silence, but the rest is made up BS.

Previously:

"_Where's the Colonel?" she asked, noticing that her close friend was missing. She was met by a room full of sad eyes, knowing what she was going to hear next wasn't going to be good._

**Chapter 3:**

The room was silent and filled with tension when she asked this. There was an exchange of glances between everyone in the room to see who would get stuck with the job of telling her what happened. This however didn't go unnoticed by Sam.

"What happened? I remember everything until I was downloaded into the mainframe. It was worse than the whole Jolinar thing. At least then I could talk to the thing in my mind. This time, it was like just being forced into the smallest corner of my brain, barely holding on. I saw that he was the one who shot me with the zat though." she explained while her mind was going through hundreds of different scenarios on what could have happened to Jack, each one becoming more ridiculous and unlikely than the first but still causing her heart to race. _Did the entity take over him? Did he die in some kind of off-world attack that was happening when I was in the computer mainframe? Did I travel to another alternate reality where he's dead? Did he die in some freak car accident? Is this a another charade like the whole Hathor thing again?_

"Sam, you just went through a lot, just try to get some rest" Janet said awkwardly after a long silence.

"No. Someone just tell me where the colonel is. Its not like he's dead or anything, is he?" she said in a calm voice, trying to convince herself more than anyone else that she wasn't panicking. It didn't help her stay calm when everyone that she considered her family was avoiding looking at her in the eye.

"Um, Sam, after Jack shot you twice with the zat, heshothimselftwice" Daniel replied in a quick breath, afraid of what Sam's reaction would be.

"WHAT!" Sam shouted. "No, he wouldn't do that. He can't be gone!" She then tried to get out of the bed she was in but as soon as she shifted her weight onto her feet, she started to fall. Everyone in the room instantly rushed to catch her. She now was sitting in a chair with her head in her hands. Somewhere in between this, Hammond and Fraiser left the room knowing Sam would be more comfortable with her family.

"Dr. Fraiser informed us that O'Neill was unsuccessful in his suicide attempt." Teal'c stated as soon as he saw that Carter was okay.

"So he's alive." Sam stated, relief pouring over her. "Where is he then?" she again asked, since no one really answered her original question.

"I believe O'Neill is currently unconscious in the infirmary" answered Teal'c.

"Janet said that he'll make a full recovery, something about the rapid fire of the zat, so it'll be just like a single zat shot, but he'll just be unconscious longer." explained Daniel.

Sam then got up out of her chair and without saying a word left the room quickly and solemnly. Daniel and Teal'c didn't need any kind of hint to know she was heading directly to the infirmary to see Jack. However, when both of them left the room heading to the infirmary also, they didn't see any trace of Sam.

_Wow. She must have sprinted there as soon as she was out of sight. I really wish they would stop being so stubborn about how they feel towards each other. Damn military. _Daniel thought, cursing how the same military that his two friends loved was also the same thing keeping them from admitting to their love for each other.

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As soon as she left the room, she went as fast as she could toward the infirmary. She had a little trouble balancing at first since it was the first time she was using her own body in awhile, but quickly overcame this. She just couldn't believe that Jack, (she had stopped calling him sir and Colonel in her head long ago), the man she ended up falling for lost the will to live. Was it because he blamed himself for what he thought was killing her, or that he couldn't and wouldn't live without her, or both? What was it going to be like for them on SG-1? Would one of them be taken off the team because now Hammond will have seen that they do care for each other and if one of them died, so did the other. What would this mean for their friendship and relationship, or more appropriately lack of relationship.

The next thing she knew, she was at the infirmary. It seemed like she just left the room where she woke up. It felt like her body was literally running on autopilot while her mind was racing with all these questions. She suddenly froze before passing through the doorway, afraid of what she would find on the other side.

After finally working up the courage to go in, she was shocked. She saw her CO, the man that she fought with in battles across the galaxy fighting the Gou'ld and any other injustice, lying in the bed unconscious. Although he didn't have a multitude of machines hooked up to him, he did have an IV and a heart monitor with its constant and rhythmic beeping. If she didn't hear the beep of the machines, she would have thought he was dead. She was barely able to hold herself together as she sat next to him, waiting and hoping he would be okay when he woke up, and if he was okay, she would kick the crap out of him for even trying to commit suicide again over her.

She then went deep in thought, thinking about why Jack would do this and how everything would be on SG1 later, and between them. Now there was no denying how they felt for each other, a thought that terrified and comforted Sam at the same time. Now there would be more things for the people in the SGC grapevine to talk about, and evidence that Hammond could use to break up the perfect team dynamic that was SG-1.

So Sam was oblivious to the passing of the world around her. She sat by Jack's bed, never leaving despite the constant pestering by Janet that she needed to eat and sleep. She didn't even realize it but before she knew it, she noticed that she had been in the infirmary for 3 hours and that it was midnight. It felt like it had been days since she saw Jack awake although it was really just earlier that day, even though it was when she was trapped in her own body.

Janet then walked into the room and wasn't surprised at all to find Sam sitting next to Jack, looking at him deep in thought.

"Sam, you really should rest, you just went through a big event yourself." She said this although she knew her friend well enough to know that she wouldn't be able to sleep at all until Jack was awake.

"No, I'm fine. I'd just like to stay for awhile. Are you sure he's going to be okay? He's been out for awhile."

"I'm sure Sam. His heart rate is normal, EEG waves are fine, BP's good. All this seems to say that he's just in a deep sleep, like when a person is knocked out. I expect that he will be up soon." Janet then left her friend alone again with her CO. Then, a few minutes later, a single sound was heard that broke the silence of the infirmary.

"Agh." came the quiet groan from the man lying in the hospital bed.

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TBC

sorry about the long update and short chapter, ill try to make them longer and quicker in the future but i got a ton of stuff on my plate with all my ap classes and being in the pit for my school musical.


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